Ponderings of a Limitless Soul

I just finished this lovely little book "The Pagan Stone" by Nora Roberts, third in a trilogy my mom and I had been reading, and I have to say while her books make you feel all warm and gooey inside, (she does a wonderful job of making suburban life sound appealing) I'm just not at a point in my life where I can really identify and so the book kind of lacked something for me. The thought of finding a man and wanting to settle down with him and raise kids is so horrendous to me right now and I can't help but ponder why. I find books that end with marriage and babies kind of lame. These days I really just want a good vampire sex story to wet my appetite. I'm such a fiction junky while my sister pretty much reads strictly non-fiction and enjoys books like Obama's "The Audacity of Hope". Thats something else I have to ponder, the fact that I like to escape to fantasy and avoid the real, does that make me a lesser being? Stupider? Uneducated? Does my reading preference define who I am?

I also watched the movie "The Red Violin" the other day, after my "Seagle Music Colony" Audition. It was pouring buckets of rain outside so I curled up on the couch mid-day with a cup of hot chocolate and indulged myself. I found the movie riveting and the music beautiful, there is nothing more sensual or stirring then the sounds a violin makes. When it is played well I find myself holding my breath until the last impossible note rips through my being. The ending was kind of good but I find it hard to believe they aren't going to figure out the dude bought the fake and hunt down Samuel L. Jackson. Who...on a side note...should never be shirtless in a movie.

This past weekend I was in Cincinnati with Morgan, Abby, and Jenna and I had an absolute blast! My audition I think went fairly well, too. It was so good to visit and play with everyone and get away from home. Being apart of that college world again, if only for a brief moment, really brought back the memories, the boys, the drama, the homework, the random eating excursions, the not feeling like your mom is breathing down your back 24/7!

All of my auditions are set and ready to go except Northwestern, but I wont go into that because I will just get frustrated... I'm about to just book a plane ticket, show up on their door step, and say "let me audition, now, it's the only time I can." I'll be in Boston Feb. 13-16 and then in Rochester and Tallahassee Feb. 18-22, leaving Feb. 6-9 for Chicago! Ah! I just want to see Olivia and Emily!!

These past two nights I went to lame ass little college parties. You know, red cups, beer pong, ring of fire, flip cup, natty light and keystone beer a plenty. The first one was with kids from UCF I didn't know...overly tan bleached blonde haired girls and dudes trying way to hard to be cool and get the hook up. The second one was full of little emo kids playing music they wrote that they all knew the words to, wearing their little printed tees and skinny jeans. And yes I say little because they were all a few years younger then me...apparently that's who Jon likes to befriend even though he's my age. Both parties were amusing and enjoyable in there own way but I really couldn't find it in myself to go hog wild. I'm really enjoying the control and focus I feel about my auditions and I'm trying to limit the partying until after they are over Feb. 21, 2009.

Coming up I'm working the Super Bowl at my sports bar restaurant which should be quite the event. The dress code is little black sophies and referee shirts with high white socks...I do love to dress up! Feeling quite horny so I could really use a good drunken hook up, just need to find a man who makes my loins quiver:)

oaijustgotmyeyebrowswaxedandshapedandifeelsexyo, Caitlyn